CareerCafeI want that job!
In this section we will have an update of the best and worst job in ICT.
By, now, you have heard of the “National Broadband Network”, or NBN Co. (the Co. Refers to “Company”, but you can’t buy shares, have a say, or whine about the directors salaries, establish KPI’s or benchmark but you’re paying for the lot-sorted ?) the Mother Ship’s latest idea to launch Australia into the nineteenth century. The idea is that the Internet is a good thing, save for the Voldemort factor (the porn that must not be mentioned). The overall idea is that the Internet is a good thing and it can do many clever things. The Mother Ship is currently unaware of its functionality to do good things, save for leaking confidential minutiae to the popular press. So, Good Things will rain in abundance save for Voldemort. Voldemort will be expelleramussed, while Good Things will be allowed through. These Good Things are currently unknown, so we have taken on a Very Clever Person called Mike Quigley. His title is Executive Chairman and Chief Executive. An ECCO, if you will (ave Spike Milligan) but we’ll call him “Q. You are paying Q $1.9 million dollars per anumn. The project is budget is at $4.3 billion dollars.
Since this is such an excellent job Queensland, who have initiated such wonders as Movie World, have decided to take a slice of this delicious pie. (Pay attention now, there will be a test at the end) Another v. Clever person,
Kaiser NBN Perth roadshow
Mike Kaiser, the Queensland Premier’s former chief of staff, has joined NBN Co as Government Relations Officer. This Officer will get $450K per annum. Q says that he will be “identifying opportunities for various utility operators across Australia to participate in the rollout” (off the doovery thing). They have also appointed a new CIO (they need a fully blown CIO, natch), another clever person called Claire Rawlins, ex British Telecom. At this time there is no “Information” to be Chief of, but it’s important to be prepared. To be thoroughly prepared we are going to Beta test this in Tasmania, where NBN Co have appointed Doug Campbell as Executive Chairman, Alison Terry (former exec at General Motors) as Director (since we have, alas, at this point run out of sexy titles), Jody Fassina (Director of Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Trust), Director, and Greg McCann (MD of Excentor Group of Companies.), Director. It seems then we have a quorum for the Tasmanian NBN Co, though there are indications that more Directors will be appointed. (Because this is such a totally excellent gig). Since Tasmania is such a hub of activity in the Australian ICT landscape we can quietly trail whatever it is that the NBN Co may wish to do in Tassie, totally cock it up and nobody will notice or mind. We then cast the blame of the first four directors appointed, ruin their careers and appoint more sacrificial goats from the ever-expanding pool of leftover consultants milling around, or detritus from the Labour party.
Mike Malone of IInet Roadshowing NBN
Mike Malone of Iinet used a recent workshop in Perth to toot his horn. The audience was full of expectant piglets, all straining for their piece of slop that is the NBN Co, your modern alternative to Telstra. We are going to carve up Telstra and feed it to NBN.
The worst job? That has to be Mr Kevin Rudd, head of everything in Oz. He walked straight in to the worst shit storm since Federation. While taking evasive measures and basking in the glory of an early recovery, he has since stepped delicately, and determinedly, into great cow pads of immigration (how many boats this year?), labour relations (illegal striking over WHAT?) and the nuking of self-funded retirement. Taking careful aim at the other foot, he has introduced a heinous concept to tax the mining industry punitively, instead of sneaking up from behind when another 10000 jobs are created. Then, when he felt he was getting some footing, he was stabbed by a ‘Ranga.
